Personal Value – A personal quality or manner of being that someone desires. Values are chosen, ideally, based on one's essence. Then when essence is manifested, the values will be present as part of how the person shows up.
Examples:
- Consciousness
- Connection
- Truth
- Trust
- Love
- Openness
- Creativity
- Intelligence
- Wisdom
- Playfulness
- Adventurous
- Balance
- Integrity
- Spirituality
- Passion
- Kind
- Powerful
- Brave
- Vulnerability
- Wealth
- Spontaneity
- Jolly
- Peaceful
- Forgiveness
As a process, values clarification is about exploring what qualities hold worth for us, starting from our essence, thus focusing inside-out. Once we know our values we can use these, along with our vision, purpose, and guiding principles, to help guide our choices and actions. We can notice which values would be honored and which would not by a particular decision or option.
Dan Craft has been a great teacher for me by facilitating the articulation of my true desires, or stated otherwise, bringing them to the surface. This has enabled me to focus my energies on the mental approaches that will bring me greater fulfillment in my life. I am clearer about what makes me happy, and "the pursuit of happiness" is a revitalized aspect of my personal mantra as a result.
–KK, Washington
Aligning choices and actions with values and other essence-derived elements ensures our integrity: we are whole when all of our "being" elements are consistent. Notice this requires everything be derived/flow from a single source: the essence. If values are assigned based on outside forces (e.g. a feeling that we "should" have a particular value) then there will be a disconnect between those and other parts of our being, so we will be unable to maintain integrity, i.e. to hold together consistently as a whole.
So, values clarification helps both in guiding us as well as in ensuring our fulfillment through integrity. When we are in integrity, others trust us as we trust ourselves. As the inner conflict that results from being out of integrity is absent, our entire being becomes more positive, confident, focused, and able to take action.
Guiding Principle – An axiom or motto that can guide one's choices and actions so they will be aligned with one's values and essence.
Examples:
- Do unto others as I would have them do unto me.
- Forever student; forever teacher.
- Be gentle: "Compassion, compassion, compassion." –The Dalai Lama
- Replace judgment with understanding.
- No expectations. (engenders presence)
- Bring to bear inquiry with wonder.
- Play now; work later! (for those perpetually delaying gratification)
- Listen from the other's perspective; speak from mine.
- "Life's greatest mystery is who we truly are." Strive to know who that is and be true to them.
- Check in with my heart.
- Designa tuam vitam! (Choose your life!)
- See the possibilities.
- I am deeply fulfilled by all that I do.
Personal values and guiding principles are an important part of living inside-out. They have particular relevance when making tough decisions and undertaking major changes. When we are conflicted by such considerations, we can apply the lenses of our values and guiding principles to gauge the considerations against our essence.